Constructive Complaining

“Stop complaining, you are being so negative, be more thankful.”

I think this can be dangerous messaging. I know I have been guilty of saying this to others in my younger adult years when I became steeped into the self-help world and gaslit my intuition.

Yes, there are those who love to complain without healing those complaints.

But, is it possible that a person chronically complains because they aren’t being heard?

I’m one who loves to poke the box and question the narratives that others pass down to us.

So here I go….

Let’s break down The Anatomy of a Complaint:

A situation that is unsatisfactory or unacceptable.

Expressing dissatisfaction with something, or annoyance.

The expressions of discomfort, unease, pain or grief.

There may be something happening that is not ok, that is causing pain and grief, disrespect, or below your standards. When we are told to “shut down the negativity,” there is a possiblity that even abuse is being suppressed.

I experienced this personally in my previous marriage. I should only be grateful and show appreciation towards my husband, respect him no matter what - even if he tears me down behind closed doors. Pick up all his dirty clothes that he sprinkles around the house with a smile and a heart of gratitude. Shove all that dissatisfaction deep somewhere in my body so that it can turn into disease later.

To not complain when it is burning inside of you can lead to suppression and dismissal of the pains and problems of our life. You have a right to complain, you have a right to bitch, you have a right to be unhappy with your situation. Now it doesn’t mean you need to stay there all the time. But the suppression surely gets us sick.

So……is it being negative? Or could it be that you are being truthful? Maybe you are noticing that something isn’t right or acceptable.

Complaining is a natural part of human communication. It is often a response to problems or a way to communicate dissatisfaction. And you have right to express dissatisfaction.

Complaining can be constructive. It’s an opportunity to be heard and witnessed. It matters who you complain too. Because there are people who will keep you in the muck, but then there are people who can hold that space in a way that your raw essence comes forward.

I love to complain. And I do it a lot in my writing. Because the blank page holds space for me. The Divine holds space for me. I feel like I am being heard, I feel like someone is listening. And a Thank you arises. I feel grateful that I have a friend in this world that cares, and gives me great wisdom.

Those complaints need to be expelled. If you don’t, then all this dense energy covers your radiant light. We need to shed those layers to allow your inner light to shine even brighter. Whether it's a blank page or a loving friend, there is a kind of complaining that leads to closure and healing. It is important to carefully listen and reflect upon the complaints, instead of unconsciously spewing it out.

Complain thoughtfully. Listen to what’s wrong so that you can reveal what’s right. Don’t gaslight and disrespect your inner thoughts and emotions. Restore your intuition by validating and acknowledging even the uncomfortable feelings you experience.

When the complaint gets fully expelled, we get to our Essence, we get to the deeper parts of our being that we would otherwise not be able to access. And once the complaint is heard and released, then it is easy to feel Thankful. Forcing gratitude when it isn’t genuine is never a winning strategy.

Shift your frequency. Find your (Qi) flow. Rise & thrive.

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